Scratch – it’s an interesting word.

I know when my life fell apart … the first time … I had 8 kids. I was left scratching my head.

Scratch – You know the feeling when you have that little itch that is ridiculously irritating? It consumes your mind until that blessed moment when you finally get a chance to SCRATCH it!  Scratching can feel really good!

Speaking of scratch …

Sometimes I have to do just that – SCRATCH my plans and ideas. Things didn’t go as I planned or anticipated. OK, scratch it! Strike that idea out! Let’s start over again … from scratch.

Here are some definitions I found for the word SCRATCH:



  • To use the nails or claws for tearing or digging. – Yep, that is pretty much how I felt.

  • To earn a living or manage in any respect with great difficulty. – Yeeeesssss.

  • To withdraw or be withdrawn from a contest or competition. Bingo! The only problem was, the contest was the game of life

So to simplify a very complicated matter, please allow me to share with you 7 steps I  personally used to rebuild my life from scratch. And I am talking about when everything fell apart, my life was completely broken and GONE as I knew it.


7 Steps to Build Your Life Again From Scratch

  1. S – See what assets you do have. Do you have breath, health, a somewhat sane mind? That is a start.

  2. C – Choose to rebuild – The most difficult part of rebuilding my life was that no one could do it for me. Others could support me in various ways, but ultimately I had to make that choice to rebuild.

  3. R – Risk having relationships. When you are down and out, the last thing you want to do is put out the effort to build relationships. People are how we heal. You will not heal in a vacuum. Reach out to someone who is trustworthy who can help you.  Risk letting down your walls even when it is so difficult to trust. Take a tiny step.

  4. A – Ask the right questions. Ask for advice. The right question is not “Why is this happening to me?” The right question is “What is one thing I can do to begin to rebuild my life?” or “Whom can I ask for advice who has been through this before?”

  5. T – Take responsibility for your future. Trust. Watch your Thoughts. Think about what you DO have and what you DO want. Try your best not to think about what you don’t have and what you don’t want.

  6. C – Cry. Let it out. When I went through my rebuilding process I lived near a lake that was in drought. I could not understand how that could be since I cried enough tears to fill it up multiple times. Give yourself room to cry like a baby …. because that is where you are right now…. starting a new life just like a baby.

  7. H – Happiness – Allow yourself to feel happiness. In the midst of your pain, give yourself permission to have moments of joy. Smile if you can’t laugh. And when something does make you smile, make your mind think about it for a moment. Don’t let it go so quickly. If you get a chance to laugh out loud, take it. Laughter is one of your greatest assets.

If you have been on this planet for any length of time, you have experienced a “Scratch” moment.

I found one more definition of the word scratch:


That is my personal favorite.

How do we start our life over from scratch? Draw a line in the sand and make a declaration. MY NEW LIFE BEGINS TODAY. NOW IS THE START OF MY NEW JOURNEY. THIS MOMENT IS MY STARTING PLACE. And even if you cry like a baby in the beginning of your new life, I promise that you will outgrow that stage. Life will get better. You will grow and be stronger.


After all … Everyone knows that things are better when they are made from scratch.


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If this title makes you mad, you probably better read this quickly …


Loneliness is a ball and chain that hangs in the pit of your stomach and attaches to your mind to drag you down to a dark pit. It swirls its ugly accusations through the passages in your mind and calls you all kinds of ungodly names. Loneliness is real. it is loud. it is dark. And it is a LIAR!

Let’s flip the light switch on!

There are over 7 Billion people on this planet. I bet there are over 100 people who would think you were really awesome if they just got to know you. I bet there are over 100,000 people who would think you were great and want to be with YOU!

So where are they??? Oh, they exist. They are real. They are waiting in the wings for you. However, there is a first step to finding your friends, your buddies, or even the love of your life. Step one is to hang out and appreciate YOU. If you learn this secret, loneliness will NEVER be able to drag you down to it’s slimy pit again.

The truth is… you are always going to be with you. Yes, that is your joy and your life’s dilemma. You cannot escape yourself. So if this is true, how about finding out some really cool things about yourself? How about appreciating the little things about you that make you different from anyone else? And why not also look at the similarities between you and every other human on the planet. It will make you begin to feel connected. We are all human beings. We all have thoughts and feelings. We all live in a physical body that can be challenging at times. We all have the capacity to love and be loved. The truth is, someone loves you. Someone does. There are perfect strangers who are willing to love you exactly as you are. The question is: Are you willing to learn how to love yourself? If you learn this secret you will never remain stuck in the loneliness trap again.

Be kind to yourself. Look at yourself as you would a best friend. Be forgiving toward you. You really have done the best you can with the tools you have had. Now it is time to rise up. It is time to bust out of the chains that loneliness has wrapped around you. It is time to claim back the life that loneliness has squeezed from your heart.

There are plenty of people to connect with on this planet. The first one is you. Find a pen and a sheet of paper and write down 3 things about yourself that you wish people could see in you. What do you wish the world would know about you? Perhaps that you really are kindhearted, or that you are a really great cook, or dancer. You may want them to know you are really smart or really great with children. Write three great things about YOU. Do it now!

Next, make a list of people that you know  you would like to hang out with. Trust that they just might want to hang out with you too. Set up a time to see them in advance. Ask them if they want to grab a cup of coffee or go to a movie sometime. If you know there is a particular night or time when loneliness tries to strike, set up a time to be with people you enjoy during that time. Find a church or civic group that has a cause you are attracted to and begin to get involved. If you find it doesn’t fit, try another one. There are dozens of options for you. You will find one if you get in action.

In the meantime, introduce yourself to YOU. You really are an awesome person, you know … Get to know yourself better. Think about your strengths rather than your weaknesses. See one good thing in yourself every day. Trash the thoughts that bring you down. Words are more powerful than thoughts. So if thoughts are plaguing your mind, SPEAK one positive thing about yourself aloud. You may have to scream it! It is OK. Do whatever it takes to break the cold, icy grip of loneliness.

You have the power. You have choice. When you enjoy your own company, you will never have to feel lonely again. And if you want to be with someone else, there are amazing people waiting to be with you. Let go of the ones who do not celebrate you. Do not waste your time or energy on those who do not appreciate you.

Know that you may have not even met your best friend yet. Perhaps they are right around the bend. And when you meet your very best friend it may surprise you who it is … Any guesses? When you do, you will never have to be lonely again.


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