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Money problems … Ugh! I have had my share. Only in the recent years of my life have I really looked at my relationship with money. Before that, I never really paid that much attention to it. No wonder it eluded me! Who wants to be ignored? As a child, I always had my needs met. When I was 8 years old I would sweep our neighbor’s sidewalks for a quarter. At age 12 I sold greeting cards. At 13, I began babysitting. When I was 16 I stepped into a “real job” working at my father’s drug stores. I knew how to put in a good days work to have a little jingle in my pocket. Yes, I knew how to make money, yet it took me half a century to really look at the way I treated money.
What about you?
How much attention do you give to money? Is it a motivating factor for you on a daily basis? Do you look at your bank balances daily? How do you handle physical money when you get it? Is it put neatly in a safe place or just kind of stuck somewhere? How much time do you spend thinking about money? Money is a subject that either lights people up or makes them cringe. It is one of the things you “don’t talk about” in polite society.
I am ready to talk about it! My biggest life lesson about money is this: It is never about money! If you are experiencing financial pain right now, my heart goes out to you. I want people to prosper. I want you to do well. Here is the fact: When you have “money issues”, it is never about money. The biggest obstacle I had to overcome was my mixed messages that I was sending out to money. Money is a force. It is an energy. There is little value in the piece of paper you hold in your hand when you hold a hundred dollar bill. It is the value attached to that paper that gives it worth. It could just as well be a clam shell or pretty bead or rock that we exchange for goods or services. Getting down to the basics of your relationship with money will help you draw it to you rather than repel it away from you.
How do you really feel about money? How do you treat it? Does it serve you well or are you a servant to it? A double minded person will not receive anything. Clarity brings prosperity. Are you clear about your relationship with money? Have you given yourself permission to prosper? How high will you let your finances go before you self-sabotage? How much money is enough? How much is too much? Is there such a thing as too much money for you? If you are in the Austin, Texas area, come join me and Camille Kellum Walker to learn how you can give yourself permission to prosper! Click here for the details: YES! I WANT TO PROSPER! . If you are not close by, you can still connect with us at www.camilleandjan.com. We want to give you the tools to WIN in your financial life!
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Jan Goss-Gibson is the CEO of Jan Goss International, a global business training and consulting firm supporting integrity in the marketplace. She is an award winning speaker and author and was recently named America’s #1 Master Confidence Strategist. A sample of her clients include GE, Wells Fargo, the University of Texas at Austin and BusinesSuites.
Jan is the author of Protocol Power – 21 Days to Professional Polish and is a highly recognized leader and expert for numerous publications. She began the Austin School of Protocol, LLC in 2007, launched nationwide as Civility Consulting in 2011 and is now serving companies globally as Jan Goss International. Jan and her clients have been featured on ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX networks nationwide.
Holiday season is upon us. How did that happen so fast? Invitations to festivities are arriving, plans to be with friends and family are being made and happy times are being imagined by all … or are they?
Holiday season can bring with it a mixed bag of emotions. Yes, there is typically “one” in every family, company, event … you name it … who seems to ruin the good time. This holiday season I want to empower you to find your own personal happiness. No one can take your joy away from you. Only you can give it away.
Here are 5 tools to help you experience a happy holiday season
1. Choose to go where you are celebrated! – There are over 7 billion people on this earth. I bet there are at least 100,000 who would celebrate you if they only knew you! Make a list of the people who boost your spirit when you are around them. Choose to spend time with those people and stay open to meet other amazing folks who will celebrate you too. Don’t get caught in the negative energy of those who complain, blame, and see through bitter lenses. Stay around upbeat people and you will experience more happiness yourself.
2. Set clear boundaries – Are you heading into a situation that you know may be a little sticky? Set a time boundary. Sometimes it is important to attend functions even if we aren’t exactly thrilled to go. Take care of yourself. Set a simple boundary of how long you can stay and then politely excuse yourself. You are responsible for your own well being. Take care of yourself as you would your best friend. Give yourself permission to do what makes you happy this holiday season!
3. Stay in the present moment – Looking back at holiday time can be a beautiful time of reminiscing. However, pay attention! When we are driving down the road, an occasional glance into the rear view mirror is a good thing, but what happens if you stare into that rear view mirror? You are going to crash! To experience the most joy this holiday season, enjoy each moment for the good that it contains. Don’t stare into the past. Glance backward at the beautiful moments and glance forward to the hope that is ahead of you, but stay in the present moment! This is where the peace is.
4. Brush up on your networking skills – Holiday season can bring new situations that feel rather awkward. Brush up on your skills. Learn to introduce yourself appropriately and how to break into groups when networking. Invest in yourself and not just everyone else. Confidence brings great joy and a feeling of self-satisfaction. Take steps to boost your confidence and learn to mingle like a pro. Check out the free resources on my website, or contact me with a question. I am happy to help!
5. Focus on bringing joy to others – When I was going through a particularly difficult holiday season, I decided to reach out to a cause my local church was involved in. It was not easy. I felt like I was dying inside, but I must admit, happiness came from reaching out to others even though I was experiencing great emotional pain. It helped me to get outside of myself and my own troubles. What you make happen for others will come back to you, so this Holiday season, spread a little joy to others and watch the magic happen in you!
Click below for another “Tool To Win”.
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Sending you many blessings this holiday season,
Today I was on a conference call with some amazing businesswomen from around the country. I believe in these women. I support and admire them. When one of them began telling of her successes and about some high powered people she was connecting with my mind had a moment. Has your mind ever just had a moment? It threw a fit! It was almost an out of body experience. I could not believe the stories that were swirling in my head. Things like:
Why does she have to go that “I am better than you” route?
Why does she feel she has to brag like that ( I told you it was embarrassing!)
Well, I am not a brown-noser, so I can’t succeed in this crowd. The ones I see succeeding are just “yes women – you are my guru” types. I just can’t be that, so maybe I’m just destined to be a loser. (yes, even MORE embarrassing …)
I sat for a moment thinking of the women who look up to me and reflecting on how important it is to share my struggles and not just my successes. I was making my self-righteous plan so I would not fall into the ego trap I saw in my fellow businesswoman friend. (Isn’t that just disgusting???) Like we all have not had our ego moments! But seriously … this is painful!
For all of you innocent ones out there, go ahead and cast your stones. I am owning this craziness in my thoughts because I believe it can help someone. I have a sister-friend who had a “chat” with me about the stories I was making up in my head. Thank God for sister-friends who will tell you like it is! She simply said, “That is just a story you are making up in your head.” … Oh. Well then. O.K. … It is, isn’t it? And the light bulb came on!
I am pretty sure I am not the only one who has made up a story in her head about another woman. You may have a few stories rolling around in your head about me. The truth is, it is just a story. It is just a story that we make up in our heads about where we think other people are coming from. Funny thing is … the story is inside of us! Those stories in my head were about me and my insecurities, not her!
My favorite part of this story? I got the sweetest “love note” from this businesswoman extraordinare within an hour of letting it all go privately. You see, the ugliness wasn’t in her at all. It was in me and I got the chance to see it, own it, and empty that trash! Mmmmm Mmmmm I LOVE my sister-friends!
What stories are in your head today? Is your mind having a moment like mine did? Life is much easier, richer and happier when we shut the storybook of criticism in our head! I think I will open my book of love and support instead. Will you join me?
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We have all had that moment. You are on top of the world, feeling really good about yourself when someone you value speaks something negative about you.
Words are powerful. They are containers of meaning, like little buckets that are full of life or death. There is a Proverb that says “The power of life and death are in the tongue.” Maybe you have never actually killed someone, but have you devastated them with your words? Has someone wrecked your world with their words?
Mean spirited words are the number one confidence stealer.
So how do we beat this one? A few years ago I made a decision that I would only go where I am celebrated and not where I am tolerated. Please don’t judge. I am not talking about being a Diva who expects everyone to bow down to me. I am talking about two way street relationships. I have allowed way too many one way street relationships in my life where I did all of the giving. I will celebrate you for who you are and I expect the same in return or I am not playing! That’s it. Making this decision revolutionized my confidence. People who celebrate you may tell you something you don’t want to hear, but it is said in a way that you know it is for your benefit. Stay away from mean spirited people, even if they are family. Grow your confidence first and then you may be able to be with them for a holiday dinner or event. Until you get strong, just say “no, thank you” to being in their presence.
What is most challenging is when the mean spirited words are from you to yourself. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. If you are thinking mean things about yourself, stop it. You are an amazing, powerful human being who has deep value. Treat yourself as you would a best friend that you love and cherish. If you need help, reach out. Don’t be afraid to speak with a professional or invest in confidence coaching to give you the eye of the tiger! You are worth it. You deserve to live a confident life. Take the action steps needed to rid yourself of mean spirited words once and for all! You can and will beat this confidence stealer by only allowing containers of loving , kind, uplifting words into your life… beginning with the words in your own head.
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- “I feel empowered to move forward” …
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- “Today helped me see that the pain and abuse that I have faced do not determine my limitations” …
- “Confidence is the key to my life value” …
- “Now I have the tools to remind myself of who I am!” …
- “I now recognize the fears that I have are evident to others and that I am capable, and have the power within myself to change that!” …
- ” It seems like a simple idea, but being told that I can step Out of my story and stand on top of it — that is a powerful visual — there is no secret door out of a story — just step out of the drama and into peace. Thank you Jan!”
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Breaking into a group of 2
When choosing who you want to network with at an event, it is important to look for groups of three or more people. When just two people are conversing, their conversation could be personal. Breaking into a group of two can feel very intrusive and rude to those who are engaging in conversation. When I hear a complaint about how “rude” those two were … and how “they acted like I was an inconvenience when I tried to talk with them” … I have to shake my head. Guess what??? You were an inconvenience! You were the rude one to break into an intimate conversation! Look for a larger group next time and your popularity is sure to rise … Breaking into groups of two is costing you dearly.
Handing out your card without being asked for it
Protocol is this: You give someone a card when asked for it or when you ask permission. We have all experienced the person who touts “You want my card? Here’s my card, Here’s my card!” Enough already. Those cards are going in someone’s trashcan. It you desire a card at a networking event, ask for it. “May I have your business card?” If you want to give someone your card, simply ask permission. “May I give you my business card?” Pushing your card on others has exactly the opposite affect that you desire. You are trying to get your name out there and make an impression. It makes an impression alright … but it is a really bad one. Practice permission-based card dealing. Your chances of winning the round will go way up.
Holding your drink in you right hand
We have all had that awkward moment when someone introduces themselves, extends their hand and we are caught off-guard. When at a networking event, be sure you hold your glass in your left hand. This leaves your right hand free to shake. It also ensures that you do not have condensation on your hand so when you do extend it you won’t leave a clammy imprint on the other person. Fumbling around with your drink to connect or extending a wet hand is easily avoided by simply holding your drink in your left hand. This is a big mistake with an easy fix.
Talking about yourself first
The whole purpose of networking is to connect with others. Of course you want people to know about you and your business … so shouldn’t you talk about yourself to others when networking? Absolutely, you need to be prepared to talk about yourself and what you do … but not first. Create conversations by being genuinely interested in the other person first. Let the conversation flow back to you and what you do. Try to find things in common with people. Yes, we are all different. However, we are still 99% the same. We are all human beings and every single one of us has a story to tell. Ask about the other person first. Then you will have the opportunity to speak about yourself if it is the right time. Trust the process of connecting. The connections you desire will happen, but not if you talk about yourself first. Yuck. Bad networking mistake!
Failure to introduce yourself
The number one mistake that costs you dearly at networking events is the failure to introduce yourself. Or if you do introduce yourself, the introduction is so fast or mumbled that no one even heard your name. Poor introductions are no better than no introduction at all. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and later a friend asks you who that was. You reply “I have no idea, I didn’t even get their name!” We spend countless hours with people whose name remains a mystery to us. For goodness sake, when you go to a networking event introduce yourself! Speak clearly and slowly making eye contact with the other person. If you don’t, you may be known as good ‘ol what’s their name who was at the networking event. Introducing yourself is the way you present yourself to the world. Learn how to do it right and make it count.
I am a huge proponent of southern hospitality.There is something about the gentle drawl of the south that intrigues me. The warm smiles and kind nature of “Southern Folk” are a welcomed refreshment after the cold, sometimes icy corporate environments that I have experienced. Authenticity at its best … making people feel respected and special … well, that is what southern charm is all about!
The funny thing about us southerners is: We think everyone loves our ways. It is difficult to imagine that others would not be attracted to our charm. While I agree that the majority of “southern” behaviors fit the bill of correct protocol, there is one that needs to be dropped from the professional arena. It has to go! When I was growing up, it was a sign of respect to say “yes ma’am or no sir” to adults in my company or to those older than I.
Times. Have. Changed.
I think the most difficult thing for us to swallow in the south is that everyone does not embrace the same thoughts as we do. We live in a global society. Just because someone resides or does business in the south does not mean they hold the same values as we do. If we are to truly respect others then we must think about life from their perspective. It does not mean that we change our values. It simply means that our value of “respecting others and making them feel special” shows up in a different way. Our value stays intact. We courteously adjust the expression of that value so it is meaningful to the other person.
Saying ma’am and sir are totally inappropriate in the professional arena. Yes is sufficient. No is sufficient. Anything else can be misconstrued as condescending or projecting that the other person is “old”. Have you ever been somewhere and someone answered you with a “yes ma’am” or a “no sir” and thought …” just how old do they think I am??? … you don’t have to say sir or ma’am to me!” I have felt that way. Judge me if you may, but “ma’am” does not make me feel good coming from an adult and … it should never be used in a professional environment.
These names that mean respect in the home do not belong in the workplace. Save them for your family environment. What you mean as respect can actually feel disrespectful to the recipient in a business setting. So let your yes be yes. Let your no be no. Drop the “sir and ma’am”… at least in professional environments.
However, never ever give up your southern hospitality. It is a light to the world!
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Something shifted in me this week. A shift I have been yearning for, for a long time. I wanted the eye of the tiger. I did my best to have it. I didn’t quit. I pushed through despite challenges and struggles that come along with being an entrepreneur. I educate myself continually. I am spiritually connected. I have healthy, strong relationships in my life. Yet something wasn’t quite there. It is what I am going to call FAITH. It is putting my stake in the ground when I am walking on water. There IS NO ground! I am over budget on every project I am working on, have stretched myself to the limit because I believe in my dream and am feeling VERY uncomfortable. Can anyone out there relate?
Here is the shift. Now I KNOW. I don’t just think. I don’t just hope. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am in the right place and space doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. How did the shift happen? Through a person. Yes, it came through a person who crossed my pathway via a set of circumstances that we set up weeks ago. A friend of mine from California highly recommended that I have a particular speaker come to Austin. I set up the meeting just like I have done numerous times before. Yet, this time something was different. I had such anticipation about this speaker coming to Austin. Yes, I had good thoughts, I had high hopes. But I have had thoughts and hopes before. Something was different. This time my belly quivered when I thought of her coming to Austin. It was a disproportional excitement. My mind did not know why, but something deeper did. Allison Maslan turned out to be my answer. She turned out to be the answer to every business question I have had over the past 6 years. She was my missing piece to my vision to raise up ten woman millionaires over the next 24 months. Allison did not just show up with theory. She showed up with proof. She has built 10 … that is TEN … successful businesses for herself and helped countless others do the same.
Her business savvy is impressive, but that is not what created the shift. I have heard many savvy business people in my life. Her brilliance was balanced with beautiful humility and grace. She was the real deal … but then, I have met people who were the real deal before.
What made the difference? FAITH! Allison believed in ME. In me … Jan Goss … she saw in me what I see in myself and have not been able to successfully launch into this world. “I see it in you, Jan”. Those words still ring in my heart. She sees the success. She sees my heart. She sees the woman I am born to be … and she has the tools to help me bring it to the world. Yes, I can! And yes, You can too! Do not stop. Do not quit until your pathway crosses with the one who believes in you and restores your FAITH. Yes someone will. Yes, I will if you need someone to believe in you! You can be everything you were born to be. You just need to know it is OK to need someone else to believe it with you. Two are stronger than one. May your angel appear in your life as mine did!
Yes. You. Can!
For additional information on Allison Maslan go to: www.myblastoff.com. She may be your angel too!
To contact me personally, please visit www.civilityconsulting.com.
It is my pleasure to serve you and support your success!