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What I asked Stedman Graham

When I was growing up, my Daddy used to tell me that the richest place on Earth was the graveyard. Gross! I never understood what he was saying as a little girl. I just knew I didn’t want to think about dead people!

It turns out, my Dad was right. Most human beings go to their grave with a plethora of unused potential. We live our lives in a hurry most of the time, never slowing down to consider there may be another way. We minimize our gifts, brushing them off as not good enough or comparing them to someone else who is “really talented”.

Could it be that the seemingly insignificant gifts that we bring to the table like encouraging someone, or teaching a skill, or even a genuine smile could actually be consciously developed into something of great meaning?

We are all created differently.

On purpose.

Your life has significance. Your life has meaning. Your life matters.

Yes, even your seemingly “insignificant” gifts.

Yesterday evening I had the pleasure of being in the room with Stedman Graham who was discussing his new book, Identity Leadership. The premise is that we must first lead ourselves so we can effectively lead others. To do that, we have to take the time to figure out who we are and what gifts we bring to the table. This book shows us how. Get the book!

I asked Stedman what was the ONE THING that he saw in terms of identity on a global basis that was a common thread in humanity. His answer was very heart touching and brought up the words of my Daddy within me. “Jan, the one thing I see across humanity as a common thread is that people are so full of gifts – they have so many gifts in them – and don’t use them.” Ouch! Globally … every culture … we are so rich with gifts that we cannot see and have not taken time to discover. That includes me. That includes you.

The graveyards are getting more and more full of gifts every day.

In the early 2000s, Dr. Myles Munroe spoke at my church. In his powerful deep voice, (with the King’s English) he said these words:

“Do NOT go to your grave with ONE GIFT left inside of you!”

His words riveted me to my soul.  I thought, “I don’t know if I have any gifts or not, but if I even THINK  something could be a gift, I am going to get it out of me!” I am not going to my grave with one gift left inside of me! I am going to empty myself out. That next year I completed writing 8 songs and recorded an album, wrote a book, and began speaking and training like a madwoman! I haven’t stopped since. I am going to my grave empty of any perceived gift I can find within me!

Who are you? Are you a title or a role? Who are you really???

What gifts are inside of you that would go to the grave should you leave the planet today?

You have a few. So do I.

Stedman also said to do what makes you happy. When we pour out our gifts, that space is filled back up with joy! If you are not happy, you may want to check in with yourself. How can you use your gifts to help someone today? Just do it. Happiness will follow.

We are all one step closer to our last day on Earth today. Let’s leave that graveyard no room for our gifts. Let’s use them NOW.

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Jan Goss-Gibson is a recognized and highly respected Authority, Coach and Speaker with a reputation for helping individuals and organizations create quick and sustainable results. She is an award-winning speaker and a #1 best-selling author.

I would love to connect with you! Set up a conversation with me here: https://my.timetrade.com/book/Z71XM

 

 

How to Drive Yourself SANE – I am on a Rampage to Help Women Take Back Their MINDS!

I figure if we can be driven “crazy”, then it must be possible to be driven “sane”. People typically don’t just go crazy overnight. It is a driving process until one day … yes, you just go over the edge. You have had enough! I have been there. Lost my mind a time or two. The good news is: I did find it. I reclaimed it and decided it was high time to take control and drive myself sane. I allowed men and money to drive me crazy. What is your excuse for insanity? I think my two demons are fairly common in the world of women.

 

Here are three simple steps to sanity.

 

Number One – Own it. Own where you are. Own that no matter who or what you feel put you there, you have the power to get out. It begins between your ears. Change your mind and you will change your life. Own the part that you created. Look at it. What could you have done differently? Now you know you will never do that again! Forgive yourself and move on. Let yourself off the hook. We have all made mistakes. You are on a learning journey just like everyone else. Stop being so hard on yourself.

 

Number Two – Get rid of fear. Fear is your enemy. Get rid of it! Fear will paralyze you. Remember that feeling when you had a bad dream and woke up and could not move? That is what fear does to you. However, remember when you woke up if you could just move your leg, or arm, or wiggle your pinkie toe, the fear would break! Get in motion! Get in action! Even if it is a tiny baby step. What small step can you take today in the right direction? Just do it! Fear will lose its grip on you once you get in motion!

 

Number Three – Be accountable. Our minds can play really great tricks on us and make us think we are making progress when in fact we are not in motion at all…. we are just thinking about getting into action! Be accountable to someone for the action you are going to take and the time you will have that action completed. Give them permission to follow up with you and hold you accountable. Accountability does not mean you are weak. It takes a lot of guts to let someone know if you accomplished what you set out to do or not. It is much easier to hide out and pretend. Accountability is not for the faint of heart. Accountability will pull you into reality. It will give you hope and make you proud of yourself for your accomplishments. Accountability will place you on the road to success, the road of sanity.

Human beings are not wired to live a solitary life. That is why it drives people crazy to be in “solitary confinement”. You must connect with others to live a full happy life. Own where you are. Get rid of your fear and be accountable.

Welcome to sanity!

Do you know someone who feels like they are going “crazy”?

Share this blog and give them hope and possibility!

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Take charge of your thoughts or they will take charge of you!

Join me LIVE in July 2019 for our Show Up Well Boot Camp – A Boot Camp for your mind!

Check it out HERE: https://showupwell.academy/bootcamp/

I will help you “Drive Yourself Sane”!

  • Stop the whirlpool thoughts that suck you under
  • Stop repeating the same mistakes
  • Stop letting other people and circumstances control you
  • Take charge of your mind and emotions

It all happens at the Show Up Well Boot Camp – A Boot Camp for Your Mind

You will have access for a whole year with LIVE sessions with Jan Goss-Gibson every quarter.

Get started HERE: https://showupwell.academy/bootcamp/ 

Love is Power – Even on the Job

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I am not so sure where we got the notion that love is not allowed in business. You may have heard to keep business thing business and personal things personal. While there are certainly healthy boundaries around dragging personal issues into the workplace, what is so wrong with adding in a little love into your work day?

This month is our month of Thanksgiving here in the USA. What would happen if we took this opportunity to show a little love … mixed with our gratitude? It’s ok … even on the job.

Love is the opposite of fear – not hate. Like it or not, we operate in one or the other. Hmmm … let me check my decisions … are they based on fear or love?

Are we doing our job because we love what we do and what our company brings to this world, or are we working out of fear of lack or some other driving fear? We can tap into love for what we do and the fear will begin to dissipate. 

Fear is no way to live life. Let’s add in a little love.

Love is power.

My friend Katy is amazing. She is brilliant, very intuitive, and holds a C-level position in a very respected company. She is kind, generous, and a beautiful person inside and out. Katy is like the rock of Gibraltar. She is immovable. She stands for love no matter what. When I asked her about her success, she said: “It is simple. I run all of my decisions through a filter of love”. Go Katy! What would our work environment look like if our leaders were courageous enough to drive out fear with love? Anyone can choose anger and fear. It takes a true leader to “filter our decisions through love” as Katy says.

Leaders – Let’s BE the standard! 

Choose love over fear.

Love Is Power!

Food for thought this Thanksgiving. It is as delicious as that turkey and dressing and pumpkin pie!

If you are a woman professional and would like support in optimizing a life free from fear and full of unshakable confidence – take a peek at our Show Up Well BootCamp!  www.showupwell.academy/BootCamp. You can send your questions or comments to Jan@showupwell.com.

Benefits of the Show Up Well Boot Camp – a 4 week virtual intensive live coaching program with Jan. You can participate in from anywhere in the world with a phone or computer!  www.showupwell.academy/BootCamp

  • Build Super-Confidence in less than 30 days
  • Stop the “head trash” question: “Am I good enough”
  • Mitigate the fear of the future
  • Be happy in spite of your past
  • Create more prosperity
  • Be more productive
  • Enjoy better relationships
  • Choose faith over fear every time
  • Find your true purpose
  • Live a truly R.I.C.H. life

Here is what one professional woman said about the Show Up Well Boot Camp.

I wish the whole world could too, Sandra. We would all be more powerful and learn to choose a little more love!

How to Stay Civil – Run in Your Own Lane!

Whew! I am just about worn out with all of the incivility on both sides of the aisle in my country. My Dad did not fight in 3 wars so we could fight at home… he fought so we could have PEACE at home. 

I say, let it begin with me! Rather that criticize and complain about my country that is in an indisputable mess, I am doing some soul-searching to find out how to be a part of the solution rather than perpetuate the glaring problems. But how is this objective reached? For me, it is a two-step process. It is by “running in my own lane” and keeping my thoughts and words within the boundaries of being civil. Who knows, I may even go overboard and actually be kind!!!

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So what does it mean to be civil? Well. the synonyms are words like respectful, gracious, and polite. Will I speak up? Yes! Will I be in action? Yes! However, I can fulfill my purpose and run in my own lane in a civil way. Of course. I want to stay aware and informed. However,  I can’t worry about what everyone else is doing. I have enough challenges just focusing on what I need to be doing! I don’t have time to be “dipping into everyone else’s business” as my precious foster children used to say. “Mama! Antoine is dipping into my business. He needs to mind his own business”! I can still hear their little voices shriek with disdain. Well, we need to stay out of others business and take care of our own. My babies were right!  We have our own lane to master. Let’s do our part well and recognize that we are all in this race together. Maybe that is why we are called the human race… 

This may sound a little naive. However, isn’t it true that one person really can make a difference? It may not seem like much to you, but I speak on Civility and Showing Up Well everywhere I go. As oversimplified as it sounds, I believe our answers lie in being our best as individuals and bringing our best to the world on a daily basis. I call this “running in our own lane” to the very best of our ability. Focusing on discord, injustice, and dehumanizing others will only make matters worse. Let’s stop whining and get into action. We certainly did that as women in the women’s marches in January! Let’s keep the momentum moving forward with our positive energy!

What can I do to make things better? I can begin with my own civility. How am I engaging with others? Am I adding fuel to a fire that needs to go out or am I fired up to create a positive outcome for all concerned? When I hear people engaged in hostile conversations what is my response? Do I perpetuate hate or love? It is easy to love when people are lovable. It’s not so easy when I feel they are destroying my country.

So here is my personal civility checklist:

  1. Am I being respectful? We do not have to agree to be respectful.
  2. Is it helpful for me to speak?  Is it more beneficial for me to remain silent at this moment? This does not mean I sit in silence. It does mean that timing is everything if I want to be heard … sometimes we just have to wait a minute!
  3. Have I double-checked my facts? Is this truth or propaganda? (there is propaganda on both sides believe it or not) 🙂
  4. Am I listening?  Do I just want to regurgitate my beliefs or am I actually listening to hear what others are saying? People are much more apt to receive a differing opinion if they feel they have been heard first.
  5. Am I perpetuating love? As cheesy as it sounds, love really is the answer. We must stop dehumanizing people who are different than us. Once you have ever loved someone who is different than you, it changes everything.

I understand that sometimes love can come with a sword. I am a Mama and a G-Mama. I am well aware of the “Mama Bear Syndrome”.  Don’t mess with what is precious to me! There is a time to stand up in power for what you believe in. It is also worthwhile to remember that taking the high road is a form of standing in power. Refusing to engage in conversations that are hateful and bitter is another way to walk in power. Choosing to be a part of the solution and not the problem is being the power!

Let’s be the change we want to see in this world and LEAD the change we want to see in America. It begins with me and it begins with you.

America, I love you. You are still the land of the free and the home of the brave.

I will run in my own lane with freedom and bravery and I promise to do my best to not dip into anyone else’s business.

To connect with Jan and receive your free audio about what it means to Show Up Well, go to ShowUpWell.com

The Power of Pressure

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If you are like me, you are not really a great fan of pressure.

 

Relationships, money, deadlines, expectations … when does it all end??? It ends when we die! However, physical death is not exactly one of my favorites either. Vacations help … well, sometimes. Sometimes we need a vacation from our vacation!
A few years ago a wise woman gave me a new perspective on pressure. She said, “Jan, pressure is designed to press us UP, not down”. Well, that is a new thought.
I have heard the analogies of pressure turning coal into diamonds and “Under Pressure” certainly worked out well as a hit song for David Bowie, but I am still not crazy about the idea.
About half a century down life’s road, I think I finally got it! It took me a minute to figure this out.
Here are the top 8 things that I found out about the power of pressure:

 

  1. It is Pressure that gets me UP when I don’t necessarily feel like moving
  2. The Pressure of my words lifts me UP into integrity so I do what I say
  3. The Pressure of pushing weights UP builds my body and helps keep me healthy
  4. Pressure makes me have to draw clear boundaries and builds UP my tenacity and inner power
  5. Pressure brings UP my emotions and enables me to see what is going on in me so I can deal with it
  6. Pressure pushes me to be my very best and do what I thought was impossible. That is UPlifing!
  7. Pressure forces me to think in new ways and UP-level my intellect
  8. Pressure causes me to send prayers UP and increase my spiritual life
So, the bottom line is …. pressure truly lifts us UP in our Spirit, Mind, and Body. Maybe it really was designed to press us UP and not down.
I guess Pressure is just doing its job!

 

Jan Goss-Gibson is the owner of Civility Consulting, a consulting and training firm in Austin, Texas specializing in First Impression Management, Confidence Training and Business Building.

 

Have You Given Yourself Permission to Prosper?

Money problems … Ugh! I have had my share. Only in the recent years of my life have I really looked at my relationship with money. Before that, I never really paid that much attention to it. No wonder it eluded me! Who wants to be ignored? As a child, I always had my needs met. When I was 8 years old I would sweep our neighbor’s sidewalks for a quarter. At age 12 I sold greeting cards. At 13, I began babysitting. When I was 16 I stepped into a “real job” working at my father’s drug stores. I knew how to put in a good days work to have a little jingle in my pocket. Yes, I knew how to make money, yet it took me half a century to really look at the way I treated money.

What about you?

How much attention do you give to money? Is it a motivating factor for you on a daily basis? Do you look at your bank balances daily? How do you handle physical money when you get it? Is it put neatly in a safe place or just kind of stuck somewhere? How much time do you spend thinking about money? Money is a subject that either lights people up or makes them cringe. It is one of the things you “don’t talk about” in polite society.

I am ready to talk about it! My biggest life lesson about money is this: It is never about money! If you are experiencing financial pain right now, my heart goes out to you. I want people to prosper. I want you to do well. Here is the fact: When you have “money issues”, it is never about money. The biggest obstacle I had to overcome was my mixed messages that I was sending out to money. Money is a force. It is an energy. There is little value in the piece of paper you hold in your hand when you hold a hundred dollar bill. It is the value attached to that paper that gives it worth. It could just as well be a clam shell or pretty bead or rock that we exchange for goods or services. Getting down to the basics of your relationship with money will help you draw it to you rather than repel it away from you.

How do you really feel about money? How do you treat it? Does it serve you well or are you a servant to it? A double minded person will not receive anything. Clarity brings prosperity. Are you clear about your relationship with money? Have you given yourself permission to prosper? How high will you let your finances go before you self-sabotage? How much money is enough? How much is too much? Is there such a thing as too much money for you? If you are in the Austin, Texas area, come join me and Camille Kellum Walker to learn how you can give yourself permission to prosper! Click here for the details: YES! I WANT TO PROSPER! . If you are not close by, you can still connect with us at www.camilleandjan.com. We want to give you the tools to WIN in your financial life!

 

For additional complimentary resources to add to your success click here:  

Tools to WIN

HiRes-Jan_Goss_Gibson-0173-EditJan Goss-Gibson is the CEO of Jan Goss International, a global business training and consulting firm supporting integrity in the marketplace. She is an award winning speaker and author and was recently named America’s #1 Master Confidence Strategist. A sample of her clients include GE, Wells Fargo, the University of Texas at Austin and BusinesSuites.

Jan is the author of Protocol Power – 21 Days to Professional Polish and is a highly recognized leader and expert for numerous publications. She began the Austin School of Protocol, LLC in 2007, launched nationwide as Civility Consulting in 2011 and is now serving companies globally as Jan Goss International. Jan and her clients have been featured on ABC, CBS, NBC and FOX networks nationwide.

Yes Ma’am, No Sir? Is it OK?

I am a huge proponent of southern hospitality.There is something about the gentle drawl of the south that intrigues me. The warm smiles and kind nature of “Southern Folk” are a welcomed refreshment after the cold, sometimes icy corporate environments that I have experienced. Authenticity at its best … making people feel respected and special … well, that is what southern charm is all about!

The funny thing about us southerners is: We think everyone loves our ways. It is difficult to imagine that others would not be attracted to our charm. While I agree that the majority of “southern” behaviors fit the bill of correct protocol, there is one that needs to be dropped from the professional arena. It has to go! When I was growing up, it was a sign of respect to say “yes ma’am or no sir” to adults in my company or to those older than I.

Times. Have. Changed.

I think the most difficult thing for us to swallow in the south is that everyone does not embrace the same thoughts as we do. We live in a global society. Just because someone resides or does business in the south does not mean they hold the same values as we do. If we are to truly respect others then we must think about life from their perspective. It does not mean that we change our values. It simply means that our value of “respecting others and making them feel special” shows up in a different way. Our value stays intact. We courteously adjust the expression of that value so it is meaningful to the other person.

Saying ma’am and sir are totally inappropriate in the professional arena. Yes is sufficient. No is sufficient. Anything else can be misconstrued as condescending or projecting that the other person is “old”. Have you ever been somewhere and someone answered you with a “yes ma’am” or a “no sir” and thought …” just how old do they think I am??? … you don’t have to say sir or ma’am to me!” I have felt that way. Judge me if you may, but “ma’am” does not make me feel good coming from an adult and … it should never be used in a professional environment.

These names that mean respect in the home do not belong in the workplace. Save them for your family environment. What you mean as respect can actually feel disrespectful to the recipient in a business setting. So let your yes be yes. Let your no be no. Drop the “sir and ma’am”… at least in professional environments.

However, never ever give up your southern hospitality. It is a light to the world!

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 Are you ready to find love again? Visit www.findlovein5.com for your FREE eBook 

We found love and YOU can too! 

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VIP Confidence Coaching with Jan –  12 week sessions  are available for 2014.

Take your Confidence Assessment at: http://civilityconsulting.com/assessment/

Contact Jan directly for private coaching information at: jan@civilityconsulting.com

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Are you a woman in the Austin, TX area? Want to grow your confidence?

Up close and personal Confidence Intensive with Jan at her own Private Residence … Next class is February 22, 2014

Consider Yourself Invited. www.theconfidencequeen.com

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